Tomorrow night I'll be doing something I've wanted to do for a very long time. I'm returning to my Alma Mater as an alumni to sing in the annual Musical Menus.
I love singing. I always have. In fact, my mom likes to tell me that when I was very little, I would turn around to listen to the woman behind us singing in church. And I'd hum along to the recessional music and sometimes make up my own words. I remember when I was only about 4 or 5 that I was scared to go upstairs to the bathroom by myself. But I bravely went, and sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star while I sat there to keep me calm. Music has always been such an instrumental (pun intended) part of my life.
I was so happy to have found a spot with the Madison Opera Chorus when I moved to Madison 6 years ago. I have thoroughly enjoyed singing in so many productions with them. There is nothing like being on stage, singing for all the world to see. It was a hard decision to make to take a break for awhile until I finish Grad School.
In fact, so many of my memories are tied to music. Some are very happy, and some are very sad. Moments spent backstage with many a cast mate laughing and talking and creating new 'inside' jokes, weddings, recitals, or just for fun with a group of friends.
This weekend is quite special to me for a few reasons. First, I haven't had much chance to get back to my Alma Mater, much less get a chance to show how much I've grown and learned from the knowledge and skill I gained as an undergrad student. Second, I have not sang solo in front of a group of people in years! It's such a nerve-racking, adrenaline pumping experience. And although I feel a bit rusty, the nerves can't tamp down the excitement building up for me. And last but not least are the people I get to share this experience with. My parents and Granmma will be in attendance on Saturday night. They haven't heard me sing since I sang Ave Maria at my Grampa's funeral a few years ago. While I was at Clarke as a student, Gramma and Grampa came to many of my performances, including Musical Menus, and they were always so proud. And I get to share my talent with a few friends who have NEVER heard me sing! I'm excited to show these 2 important people in my life what I am capable of. (And I'll also need their support getting through the nerves of the evening.)
This all brings back so many memories of concerts and recitals at Clarke. It's funny, but although I feel almost the same now as I did back then the night before a concert, I know that I'll get through it and be fine. So what if I keep messing up the lyrics to Mon Couer... who's going to notice but me?
I'm going to tap into that strength and skill I have inside and let go. I'm going to trust that I'll remember what I need to remember, and most importantly, I'll have fun.
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