It CAN be done!

If there was ever a test of my strength and will to overcome binging temptation, it was today. Fat Tuesday, of all days. Of course there was a potluck at work, and of course the food tables were right outside my cubicle again. But I told myself I would NOT eat any junk food. And guess what? I didn't.

It took a lot to resist. And I actually ended up leaving work early because the smell was weakening my strength. But I took time to actually think about why I wanted to eat and to realize that eating those cookies, or crab dip, or pumpkin bread, or cheese and sausage wasn't going to make me feel better. In fact, it would have made me feel worse. So I stuck to my healthy snacks and meals I brought with me. I sent a text to a friend who provided AMAZING support. I also had my earbuds in practically all day with the music turned up pretty loud to drown out the sounds of my co-workers conversations as they talked about how good the food was. I listened to music, focused on my project and stuffed myself with peppers, carrots, cucumbers, strawberries, and pineapple. I took a sharpie and drew a cross on the inside of my wrist with the word 'strong' written under it to remind me that when I put my problems into God's hands, he takes them on and helps me to be strong. And I did it. I avoided all the junk food. And to top it off, I started day one of a 5k training program. And that makes me excessively happy. I feel really good about myself today.

I've been burnt out lately, and when I'm burnt out, old habits rear their ugly head. My refrigerator and cupboards were empty, which means a lot of eating out and eating on the go. I've been tired so I've been skipping work outs, or simply not putting a lot of energy into them. It's sometimes very difficult to realize that this is something I'll always have to deal with. It would be very easy to give in and give up. It would be a lot easier than fighting. But then I remembered something I had written in my journal after watching this video:

What struck me most is that Jesus had the love and adoration of the people at one point. He was popular, he had it good. But then people turned against him. Yet not once did he turn from the path before him. He had strength. Can you imagine the strength it would take to stick to your convictions and beliefs even when everyone around you has abandoned you? When you are tortured, and persecuted, and eventually crucified for the very strength you possess? I can't begin to imagine what strength and conviction that would take. 

But what I do imagine is this: If I can have even one ounce of the strength, conviction, and courage that Jesus showed, then I can accomplish great things. Jesus' strength and conviction came from his love of all people. The strength I need is to love myself. With that drop of strength, I can continue to fight this battle each day. And I can continue to ask for help, both from friends and from God.