If you know me in person, you know that I'm a pretty outgoing person. I like to socialize and chat and I have no problem talking to strangers and making new friends. But what you may not know about me is that I'm actually right on the border line of introvert and extrovert. So while I value spending time socializing and being with friends, sometimes I need time away from everyone and everything to unwind and 'reset' myself.
This last weekend, I ran away from it all. I needed quiet. I needed peace. I needed no homework and no work stress. So I went to Door County, WI.
Even though I (jokingly) say that I ran away from responsibility, what I truly ran away from was all the 'extra' stuff I pile into my life. I needed to be away from all that extra stuff to have the quiet to hear God's voice. The truth is, I've felt a big change in the past few months. And there's a calling that I've felt for a very long time that I've been ignoring. I needed the quiet to pray and to listen in the quiet times.
So while I ran away from the responsibility of work, and school, and socialization, I ran, in a sense, to another responsibility. One that I was meant to do.
Isn't it funny how we make our lives so complex? We worry and stress about school work, jobs and career, finances, cars, TVs, clothes, and our social status. We think that these things add value to our lives. They make an impression on our society that we are 'someone' and we are part of society.
But the truth is, the life God wants for us is so much more simplistic. The God we worship is not a materialistic God. He doesn't care if I drive a 10 year old run down car or a brand new shiny one. He doesn't care if I've worked my whole adult life to get to a place of comfort. It isn't His will. His will is that we put all that energy of the 'stuff' that we throw onto ourselves into loving each other. And not just loving the people you know and like. Loving all of humanity, valuing life and the spirit within each individual, and loving those who hate us.
I had a moment of feeling utterly full of love and a sense of completeness this past weekend. I was driving along the shore of Lake Michigan at sunset. The sun and sky was a glory of riotous colors. Reds, oranges, yellows, pinks, purples, and blues all blending and shifting. And the gentle waves of the lake reflecting back the pinks and reds and purples seemed like a shimmering companion, meant to compliment the sunset. In the beauty of that moment, I realized that this was God's gift, not just to me, but to anyone who saw it. The scene was so beautiful that it cannot adequately be described in words. It was a living portrait that can only be described in feelings. The feeling of calm from the blues and purples, the warmth of the reds and oranges, the brilliance of the yellows, the hope of the pinks. And through it all, the ever sense of love. It's a moment that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. It wasn't a thing that I'd purchased or done that made me feel so happy and hopeful. It was the glory of what has been given to me. Something that I never asked for, or have truly appreciated. And it was given to me out of love.
I know now what God wants for me. And it will involve a lot of change. I don't know where the future will take me, but I trust that I will be shown the way. And through it all, I know that I was given this great gift of love so I could share it and give it to others. And that is something much greater than the responsibility that I've thrust upon myself.
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